The Indy 500 and the Saints. New Treatment Begins Tomorrow.

I admit I am a bit nervous about tomorrow. I've done the paperwork, had a final blood draw today, and am planning to arrive at 10:30AM for my 11:00AM infusion.

Last Friday night I was nervous also. I knew I needed to prepare spiritually for this, because as I've written before, "My Healing is God's Secret." I want to be prepared to accept whatever comes from His hand, and that includes the possibility of a massive meltdown failure of the drug, a catastrophe in my body, or what... complete healing? Partial success or an extension of life but with ugly side effects?

I mentioned St. Nektarios of Aegina previously, but we also love St. John of Shanghai and San Francisco who is notable for many miracles including the raising of the dead while he was alive, and many healings since his repose.

As I prepared to pray an akathist to St. John, asking him for help, I had some crazy thoughts. Is there jealousy among the saints? I mean, last week I was praying an akathist to St Nektarios, asking for his help and this week it is St. John. Of course there isn't jealousy or they would not be saints, but what is the dynamic when a person who is a member of the Church Militant (Me) asks for help from more than one member of the Church Triumphant (Saints who have reposed)?

Then it hit me.

If you watched the end of the Indy 500 last week you saw the winner, Josef Newgarden, continue past the pit entry to stop on the start/finish line and park his race car. He unstrapped himself, got out and ran for the fence. I thought he was going to climb it, but instead, he found a hole, crawled through it, ran around barriers and up into the stands where the crowd cheered for him, patting him on the back and shouting with great joy.

Look up "joy," "rejoice," "rejoicing" in the bible and the list of references is endless. When Paul talks about "running the race," or "beating his body" as an "athlete," well, I connected the joy of that INDY crowd with the joy of the saints as they watch us become like Christ. St. Nektarios and St. John, and my Guardian Angel, and my Patron Saint Daniel, and my favorite Athonites St. Silouan and St. Joseph, and Elder Ephraim of Florence AZ. are cheering for me.

Cheering for me! What does it mean to win the race? First place? A glass of milk and a wreath? Are they cheering for me to be physically whole, healed from cancer? Or are they recognizing - just as they did in their own lives - that suffering causes us to advance in the faith. 

This is not a "health and wealth" gospel, this is a "take up your cross and follow me" gospel. A "succeed through suffering" gospel. And the saints know how difficult that race is, and so they pray for me, intercede for me, and cheer me on - maybe sometimes even holding me up when I'm ready to trip.

6 years ago at the beginning of my cancer journey, as we were becoming Orthodox, Juli and I and some of our grandkids and kids went to San Francisco to the old cathedral where the mantle of St. John was draped over us, and Father James (who is now a bishop) read prayers over us.

At that time he told us an account of 2 women who were visiting Holy Virgin Cathedral where St. John's body lies in a glass covered tomb within the church. Fr. James related to them that people often write out prayers to St. John and leave them in the space under his body prepared for that purpose. One woman said she was going to write out a prayer, and the other woman said, "I don't believe St. John reads any of those prayers."

The next day, that same woman related to Fr. James with fear, that St John had visited her in a vision, and he sternly gestured at her saying, "I read every single one."

I decided Friday night that come Monday morning I was going to drive to San Francisco, read the akathist next to St. John's body, and deliver a handwritten prayer to him. It became evident that others in our church were in great need of delivering letters to St. John as well, so 3 of us went there yesterday.

What a day.

Funny thing, I was supposed to have a blood draw either yesterday or today in preparation for the infusion tomorrow. I decided in case a great and complete miracle happened, I'd better have my blood checked after the prayers! When I arrived home last night I got out of the car and could barely walk because of the pain, so I guess an Instant Miracle is out of the question.

But today I drove to UC Davis and got the blood draw done, and the results are in, and interesting. My PSA has been going up exponentially, and the last several months have gone up by double digits. This time it went up by only 2.3. 

Makes me wonder what it was before the prayers.