24. So that's why I can't breathe?
I stated during my last infusion that I was half way through chemo. Triumphantly, as though the first half was done, let the second half begin! I forgot one thing... the infusion begins a process, and technically, I wouldn't be halfway done until the 3rd infusion had run it's course, a 21 day cycle. I should have waited before getting all excited because this one has been kind of rough.
First, the neuropathy is getting worse. My fingertips and toes have begun getting numb and tingly, actually painful at times. It seems to be getting better this week near the end of the cycle, but right in the middle during nadir I had to ask Juli to button some buttons, and even open the pull-top on a can of soda. ("Pop" for my Oregon friends.)
Our son Brett has officially completed his service to our country in the Air Force, (Thank you for your service, Brett) and is staying with us temporarily while he completes some vocational training. He has come in really handy when I can't get a lid off that Juli would normally ask me to help with.
It is typical for a strong fatigue to set in three days after infusion, but this time it seemed to hit in less than two days. And it was really strong. Juli said she noticed that I was quickly out of breath compared to the first two infusions.
A day or so into nadir a couple of really nice big orders came in for TruStack Tire Dollies, the product I invented for use with tires. We order a container of TruStack bases at a time from our molder in China and we assemble casters and box up the finished product at our warehouse here in Yuba City. When the orders came in I was thankful for the help of my son and some great friends from our church who have insisted on helping in just this scenario. A late night or two and we were finished with the orders, but it was really obvious that I was suffering. There were times I couldn't stand up. Times when I was walking and had to stop and lean on a workbench or countertop. Times when I had to simply lay down and pant. Thank you God for the men and women you have placed in my life. We accomplished without any delay the fulfillment of every order and have continued preparing for future ones.
I feel like a lot has been attempted and accomplished over the last week or so, but not without continued fatigue. I am scheduled for Infusion #4 this Friday, so I had a regular appointment at the cancer clinic to debrief on the progress so far. I typically go in for a blood draw right after that appointment to measure my blood counts. As we discussed my fatigue with the doctor, she reminded us that they were "beating my body up pretty bad" with the chemo, and the symptoms I was experiencing were within expectations. Thankfully, she informed me that I may not lose my fingernails and toenails. Though it often happens, it is also common for the nails to just turn dark, even black, but then just grow out rather than fall off. That would be nice. I'm being extra careful when it comes to using them.
After the appointment, we went to the blood draw station and filled a few vials. One of the things I appreciate about UC Davis is that the results come back very quickly, often within hours. And so they did. By the time we finished lunch only 2 hours later, I received an email informing me the results were in.
We like to look at the PSA number first because that is the number that best indicates how the cancer is responding to treatment. To review, that number was 26.1 on diagnosis, "normal" is 0-4. After 1 month of Androgen Depravation Therapy (Lupron injection) my PSA had come all the way down to 0.8. The next test had it at 0.5 and the last one was 0.3, just shy of our goal of 0.2. The test results for today showed a number of 0.2 and we are very thankful.
However, 4 of the various blood components were flagged "low" on the next test we read. We are hoping that those numbers are not critically low. They do not appear to be but of course I am not a doctor. If they are close enough, the next infusion will not be delayed. One thing it tells us is that my continued fatigue has a cause. Every time I walk up the steps or exert myself in any way, I find myself panting.
Since the last time I wrote, a really good friend lost his uncle to prostate cancer, bringing back the seriousness of the battle we are fighting. In his case, he had decided not to fight at all, giving up after only two or three Lupron injections. It is not my intent to give up. Life is good and it is valuable even if it is filled with pain and suffering. We visited an Orthodox church in Roseville last Sunday and appropriately, the priest was talking about the prayers we ask God over and over, often requesting relief from suffering. He said that many times, God has answered that prayer the first time you ask, and His answer is "Endure."
We really like to gloss over the scriptures that say things like "He who endures til the end will be saved." We want to be like the lame man who was instantly healed by Jesus and went "walking and leaping and praising God!" As we have been examining the differences between Eastern Orthodox Christianity and the Protestant faith we grew up with, it has been instructive to see the intense seriousness and consistency with which Orthodox Christianity views self-sacrifice and suffering. It has been an incredible encouragement to both Juli and I to feel the presence of God in the midst of our suffering.
Endure?
OK.
First, the neuropathy is getting worse. My fingertips and toes have begun getting numb and tingly, actually painful at times. It seems to be getting better this week near the end of the cycle, but right in the middle during nadir I had to ask Juli to button some buttons, and even open the pull-top on a can of soda. ("Pop" for my Oregon friends.)
Our son Brett has officially completed his service to our country in the Air Force, (Thank you for your service, Brett) and is staying with us temporarily while he completes some vocational training. He has come in really handy when I can't get a lid off that Juli would normally ask me to help with.
It is typical for a strong fatigue to set in three days after infusion, but this time it seemed to hit in less than two days. And it was really strong. Juli said she noticed that I was quickly out of breath compared to the first two infusions.
A day or so into nadir a couple of really nice big orders came in for TruStack Tire Dollies, the product I invented for use with tires. We order a container of TruStack bases at a time from our molder in China and we assemble casters and box up the finished product at our warehouse here in Yuba City. When the orders came in I was thankful for the help of my son and some great friends from our church who have insisted on helping in just this scenario. A late night or two and we were finished with the orders, but it was really obvious that I was suffering. There were times I couldn't stand up. Times when I was walking and had to stop and lean on a workbench or countertop. Times when I had to simply lay down and pant. Thank you God for the men and women you have placed in my life. We accomplished without any delay the fulfillment of every order and have continued preparing for future ones.
 |
| Brett packs a pair of TruStack Tire Dollies into a carton for shipping to Los Angeles. |
I feel like a lot has been attempted and accomplished over the last week or so, but not without continued fatigue. I am scheduled for Infusion #4 this Friday, so I had a regular appointment at the cancer clinic to debrief on the progress so far. I typically go in for a blood draw right after that appointment to measure my blood counts. As we discussed my fatigue with the doctor, she reminded us that they were "beating my body up pretty bad" with the chemo, and the symptoms I was experiencing were within expectations. Thankfully, she informed me that I may not lose my fingernails and toenails. Though it often happens, it is also common for the nails to just turn dark, even black, but then just grow out rather than fall off. That would be nice. I'm being extra careful when it comes to using them.
After the appointment, we went to the blood draw station and filled a few vials. One of the things I appreciate about UC Davis is that the results come back very quickly, often within hours. And so they did. By the time we finished lunch only 2 hours later, I received an email informing me the results were in.
We like to look at the PSA number first because that is the number that best indicates how the cancer is responding to treatment. To review, that number was 26.1 on diagnosis, "normal" is 0-4. After 1 month of Androgen Depravation Therapy (Lupron injection) my PSA had come all the way down to 0.8. The next test had it at 0.5 and the last one was 0.3, just shy of our goal of 0.2. The test results for today showed a number of 0.2 and we are very thankful.
However, 4 of the various blood components were flagged "low" on the next test we read. We are hoping that those numbers are not critically low. They do not appear to be but of course I am not a doctor. If they are close enough, the next infusion will not be delayed. One thing it tells us is that my continued fatigue has a cause. Every time I walk up the steps or exert myself in any way, I find myself panting.
Since the last time I wrote, a really good friend lost his uncle to prostate cancer, bringing back the seriousness of the battle we are fighting. In his case, he had decided not to fight at all, giving up after only two or three Lupron injections. It is not my intent to give up. Life is good and it is valuable even if it is filled with pain and suffering. We visited an Orthodox church in Roseville last Sunday and appropriately, the priest was talking about the prayers we ask God over and over, often requesting relief from suffering. He said that many times, God has answered that prayer the first time you ask, and His answer is "Endure."
We really like to gloss over the scriptures that say things like "He who endures til the end will be saved." We want to be like the lame man who was instantly healed by Jesus and went "walking and leaping and praising God!" As we have been examining the differences between Eastern Orthodox Christianity and the Protestant faith we grew up with, it has been instructive to see the intense seriousness and consistency with which Orthodox Christianity views self-sacrifice and suffering. It has been an incredible encouragement to both Juli and I to feel the presence of God in the midst of our suffering.
Endure?
OK.
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