16. The Lego Ship Crumbles.
Every time I come up with a description of my last 24 hours and try it on Juli, she says "No! No! No!"
I was thinking about describing how my warehouse, The Chariot Concepts Warehouse (that sounds really official) only has two doors. A BIG door for the movement of large bulky objects, and a SMALL easily-unlocked door for free and efficient ingress and egress.
I was inside the warehouse and somebody locked BOTH doors from outside.
Or maybe I could put it this way... Remember in an earlier post describing the biopsy I underwent as feeling like the doctor was assembling lego ships inside my colon? Well, the fair Tradewinds of the West Undies blew that ship to the bottleneck.
Or have you seen a freeway pileup on CNN where one big truck got hit by another big truck, and when they slid sideways they blocked up the entire freeway including the parallel side road? And then other trucks hit those trucks and pretty soon the cars got involved and before long even the motorcycles were blocked?
It was like that. And it really hurt. Nearly zero sleep last night, Juli seriously went to bed afraid to sleep in case she had to take me to the ER. Earlier in the day as the panicked truck drivers were saying "We're gonna crash!" we had called UC Davis for help and they warned that crashes often require the ER.
Trying to give me privacy because I was embarrassed, yet worried that the sounds coming from that room implied I was dying, Juli prayed and prayed for me. Finally at about 4 in the morning the biggest of the trucks were cleared off the freeway so the tow trucks could get at the pickups and cars. Mind you there was quite a backlog. (Sorry. Juli probably would have said "No! No! No! to that choice of terms.)
We're climbing up out of nadir at this point, my blood cells should be rebuilding and overall I am beginning to feel better. Since my last post, the worst of the side effects have made themselves known, and they are all related. I began to experience a sore throat as a result of the lining of my mouth being attacked by the chemo, and for a period of 4 days or more I had great difficulty swallowing. This had the unfortunate consequence of causing a reduction in the amount of water I could drink. We were given permission to use a topical anesthetic spray which helped me get to sleep and since I also had headaches, I received permission to take Advil. That took the edge off.
Healthcare sure is a balance isn't it? I remember when my Dad at age 68 had a serious blood disease that nearly took his life. We were called to the hospital to say our goodbyes more than once as every step they took caused a dangerous reaction in other health categories. I remember I had this image of all his doctors juggling. They would try to treat one complication without creating a new one, but then being forced to react to a new problem that exacerbated the original ailment. Back and forth, up and down but all the time gaining a little time with each toss. He was never as strong after that but we were blessed to have him with us for another 14 years.
I was so afraid of nausea and related conditions with chemo that it didn't occur to me that we may experience the opposite. (I say "we" because Juli is very much experiencing this with me.) The chemo, the Advil, the sore throat and corresponding reduction in water, all conspired to cause the first few trucks to crash on the main freeway. And when the main road is blocked that badly, it causes the other road to be blocked as well, something that I did not expect but became painfully obvious.
I literally cried out to God for relief, and while He had so graciously allowed us to skip the nausea of chemo, this time He let me experience some very significant physical pain and suffering.
Why?
I do not know. But He is good and I trust Him. How many have suffered far more? How many Christian brothers and sisters in other lands have begged Him for rescue as they walked with gunnysacks bound over their heads, chained together, hobbling toward the grand spectacle of beheading should they refuse to deny the One True Almighty God? Should a day like that ever come for me, I hope I have the courage like them to live out the words of Paul as he said, "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."
I was thinking about describing how my warehouse, The Chariot Concepts Warehouse (that sounds really official) only has two doors. A BIG door for the movement of large bulky objects, and a SMALL easily-unlocked door for free and efficient ingress and egress.
I was inside the warehouse and somebody locked BOTH doors from outside.
Or maybe I could put it this way... Remember in an earlier post describing the biopsy I underwent as feeling like the doctor was assembling lego ships inside my colon? Well, the fair Tradewinds of the West Undies blew that ship to the bottleneck.
Or have you seen a freeway pileup on CNN where one big truck got hit by another big truck, and when they slid sideways they blocked up the entire freeway including the parallel side road? And then other trucks hit those trucks and pretty soon the cars got involved and before long even the motorcycles were blocked?
It was like that. And it really hurt. Nearly zero sleep last night, Juli seriously went to bed afraid to sleep in case she had to take me to the ER. Earlier in the day as the panicked truck drivers were saying "We're gonna crash!" we had called UC Davis for help and they warned that crashes often require the ER.
Trying to give me privacy because I was embarrassed, yet worried that the sounds coming from that room implied I was dying, Juli prayed and prayed for me. Finally at about 4 in the morning the biggest of the trucks were cleared off the freeway so the tow trucks could get at the pickups and cars. Mind you there was quite a backlog. (Sorry. Juli probably would have said "No! No! No! to that choice of terms.)
We're climbing up out of nadir at this point, my blood cells should be rebuilding and overall I am beginning to feel better. Since my last post, the worst of the side effects have made themselves known, and they are all related. I began to experience a sore throat as a result of the lining of my mouth being attacked by the chemo, and for a period of 4 days or more I had great difficulty swallowing. This had the unfortunate consequence of causing a reduction in the amount of water I could drink. We were given permission to use a topical anesthetic spray which helped me get to sleep and since I also had headaches, I received permission to take Advil. That took the edge off.
Healthcare sure is a balance isn't it? I remember when my Dad at age 68 had a serious blood disease that nearly took his life. We were called to the hospital to say our goodbyes more than once as every step they took caused a dangerous reaction in other health categories. I remember I had this image of all his doctors juggling. They would try to treat one complication without creating a new one, but then being forced to react to a new problem that exacerbated the original ailment. Back and forth, up and down but all the time gaining a little time with each toss. He was never as strong after that but we were blessed to have him with us for another 14 years.
I was so afraid of nausea and related conditions with chemo that it didn't occur to me that we may experience the opposite. (I say "we" because Juli is very much experiencing this with me.) The chemo, the Advil, the sore throat and corresponding reduction in water, all conspired to cause the first few trucks to crash on the main freeway. And when the main road is blocked that badly, it causes the other road to be blocked as well, something that I did not expect but became painfully obvious.
I literally cried out to God for relief, and while He had so graciously allowed us to skip the nausea of chemo, this time He let me experience some very significant physical pain and suffering.
Why?
I do not know. But He is good and I trust Him. How many have suffered far more? How many Christian brothers and sisters in other lands have begged Him for rescue as they walked with gunnysacks bound over their heads, chained together, hobbling toward the grand spectacle of beheading should they refuse to deny the One True Almighty God? Should a day like that ever come for me, I hope I have the courage like them to live out the words of Paul as he said, "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."
You and Julie are in our prayers, Dan! You still have your sense of humor We love all y'all!
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